One of the things I will never forget is the "encouragement" I was given when it first all happened. "Looks like God has something better planned for you." "Don't worry, God knows what He's doing." "It's all about God's timing, just let Him take control of the situation." Are these statements true? Yes. Were they spoken with love and tenderness by some of the closest people to me? Yes. Did it help at all? Not one bit. Because when you're in the thick of it - when you're faced with trials and hurt and loss - you don't see the hope. You don't see the future. You don't see the plans that God has for you that are promised to be good. (Jeremiah 29:11)
I remember thinking, "I hope someday it will all be worth it." I will probably never know what happened at that border crossing or what the decision was when my visa was finally processed and ended up in friggin California never to be seen again. I will probably never know those things.
Here's what I do know.
God has always been with me. I struggled one day with the thought of "When I was stopped at the border, how did God feel in that moment? Was that a part of His plan for my life? Was I just the consequence of a border guard's decision? How did God feel when I was hurting?" Hebrews 13:5 promises that God will never leave us or abandon us. God was with me. Did it make the situation better? Did it stop the situation from occurring? Not necessarily, but God was with me. Isaiah 41:10 says, "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, yes, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." I was not alone. God has always been with me.
God has always been for me. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 is a pretty popular verse but I just don't think we get it sometimes. God has a plan. God knows all and sees all. He is before all things and in all things. God has a plan for me. A uniquely crafted, hand-tailored path carved out for Sarah Anne Elizabeth (soon-to-be-Fothergill). God's plan is to prosper me and not to harm me. God's plan is to give me a hope and a future. There are circumstances in my life that are beyond my control but that does not limit God's use for them. "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, neither angels nor principalities nor powers, neither things present nor things to come, neither height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39. Nothing can separate me from God and His plans for my life. God has always been for me.
Knowing God doesn't mean I know all the answers. Knowing God means I have peace when my world gets turned upside down. Knowing God means clinging to the hope and future promised to me.
Here are a few other things I know.
Since my time in NC, I've had the privilege of interning at another church for a season and being involved in church community since then. I've established better relationships with my family and I'm blessed to have each one of them in my life. I've lived and worked at the ranch and developed a passion for the hospitality industry. I've graduated college as valedictorian and the top of my class. I've been promoted to a management level in a job in my field and have a promising future in the industry. I met the sweetest man I know and I'm gonna marry that hottie.
God is with me and He is for me. I didn't always see that or feel that but that doesn't change the fact that it's true. I still struggle with that sometimes. But every now and then I am reminded of how God has taken my greatest pain and has brought from that some of my greatest joys. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28.
Maybe you're facing the same reality. Maybe your circumstances are looking a little grim also. Maybe you're sick of hearing these statements of hope and encouragement and wonder when that reassurance is ever going to kick in. May you find hope today - not blind hope that pretends everything is fine and refuses to acknowledge how things are - but the kind of hope that comes from staring pain and suffering right in the eyes and refusing to believe that this is all there is.
"God is with us, and he is for us. That is the gospel. So no matter what I go through, he is with me and he is for me. Even if it doesn't make sense, he is with me and he is for me. Even if I can't cross every t and dot every i, he is with me and he is for me. No matter what anybody says, he is with me and he is for me. No matter what my emotions tell me, no matter what my bodily aches and pains tell me, no matter what my bank account tells me, he is with me and he is for me. He is on my side. In the darkest part of your journey, the thing that will keep you full of life, peace and happiness is the gospel. It's the knowledge that God is with you and for you."
-- From Judah Smith's book "Jesus is _____"
