Dam It.

You know what used to really annoy me? I'd be scrolling through Facebook or Twitter and I would see people's posts and tweets about how great their day was or how happy they are or something along the lines of "oh man, so blessed!!!" All this cheerful happy stuff was all over the place. Now, I'm no debbie downer. But hearing about all these other people being happy really annoyed me. Probably because I was jealous. I wasn't able to say the same things. Sure, things in my life were good. But I didn't have this gushing joy that I saw other people have. I was happy... but I wasn't joyful. I found myself trying to figure out why these people... who serve the same God I serve... who go to the same church I do... or who work the same job I do... where was their joy coming from?

Growing up in church, you learn about how sin separates you from God. People use the analogy of a wall of sin. I think we sometimes down play the huge ugly nature of sin. I think that not only does sin block us from getting to God, it blocks Him from getting to us. Now, I'm not saying that sin is more powerful than God or that sin can stop God. Nothing can stop God. God is great, mighty and powerful. But when we sin... and keep sinning... and keep ignoring the voice of God... we are building a huge frigging wall. Actually, it's a dam. When we sin, we are building a dam.

A dam keeps water from moving to a certain area. Think of God as the water. Think of His goodness and mercy and grace and love as the water. When we have crap in our lives (and chose to keep it there), we are blocking out all of God's goodness.

The other day I asked God, "Why all this goodness? Why now and not before?" And instantly I pictured the dam. Why did my life lack joy? Because I was blocking God out. Do I still have bad days? Sure. But I have found joy again. I'm that obnoxious tweeter going on about how I just don't have the words to describe how great God is and how faithful He has been. It was all within reach... on the other side of the dam.

This sin thing is no joke. If you can't figure out what's missing and why you feel empty even when you have so much... check your heart. No dam is worth keeping. God's gushing joy is so totally worth giving up whatever you've placed between you and God.You know that thing that hangs in the back of your mind and you just can't shake it? That's God speaking to you. Truth is though, you probably already knew that.